ADOPTIVE FAMILIES AFTER THE REUNION

There seem to be adoptive families who consider an open records bill to be a threat to them. An adopted adult having a copy of their OBC in their hands does not always automatically lead them to the doorstep(s) of their birth parents. It is a civil right for an adoptee to have access to their OBC. Searching is a separate issue but if it occurs and is successful, it does not mean that a close bond between the adoptee and adoptive parents is going to be severed. If a close bond has not formed, will the adoptive parents doing what they can to prevent the adoptee from searching result in a closer relationship developing? I personally doubt it.

Both my adoptive father and step-father were deceased by the time my M.D. and I discussed that knowing my origins would be beneficial to my health. When I approached my adoptive mother about the sensitive subject of searching for my birth family, she was very supportive. She offered to help me in any way that she could. My mother told me that she would like to meet my birth mother to thank her for parting with me.

It was not meant for my mother to meet my birth mother. I had a very common name to work with that resulted in my search taking over 20 years. Three years before it was completed my mother passed away. I learned that while I was searching my birth parents passed away. But I have been reunited with siblings and other birth relatives. While it has been a continuing awesome experience getting to know them have I tossed my adoptive family members aside? Definitely not and I never will! I now just have LOTS of family and some of my adoptive have met some of my birth.

There is no reason why birth and adoptive family members can't be on friendly terms. I have no way of being certain if all my parents would have been but I can't help but think positively about it.

I urge all adoptive parents to stand back and not fight adopted adults from having access to their OBC. If having it in their hand does ultimately lead them to searching and finding birth family, be supportive. I realize that I have been blessed that my reunion has gone so well. Not all of them do but often even with reunions gone sour the adoptee will still gain because they learn their identity and sometimes biological family medical history.